I Used To Dream In You

used to dream

I used to dream in you,
swim in the sweetness dripping from your lips,
drown in its foaming effervescence.
Your heart was an open ocean in which I could drift,
cradled and fearless.
seeking adventure;
a voyager hungry for new discoveries.
Your open soul was as expansive as universes
holding all the stars and suns and milky ways and moons.. and constellations.

Your words fell as gentle as falling snow
and melted deep into the crevices
and recesses of my mind,
a light that found every corner of darkness
and illuminated it,
stretching it beyond any capacity it had ever known.

used to dreamI used to dream of you
of your giving spirit,
before it became as barren as the desert floor..
offering only mirages..
teasing like merciless vultures
feeding on the carrion of my desperate heart.

You stole my dreams of you,
a highwayman riding his horse of delusion;
wearing the garb of Lancelot
and the image of Dorian Gray.
You rode in from the sunset
haloed by a crimson dust,
bearing your concealed sword..

.. a sword that pierced the dreams of you,
pierced the golden sun to its core;
its light dimming and fading until it was no more.
and the air was filled with a gray, hot wind;
an inferno bearing through,
and carrying the putrid scent of confusion.

I used to dream.

 

 

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Ashes Into The Wind

ashes

As I look back on the pages of my life,
and reminisce over the events that forged me into who I am today,
I am filled with sweet melancholy..
a bittersweetness that leaves me in a familiar yet distant place.

The tear-laced memories,
the distant sounds of laughter..
the warmth of gentle smiles..
all come together to form this compendium I now hold in my hands.

At times it feels so light..
and I wonder:
what have I done with my days?
these moments that are so fleeting..
what purpose have I fulfilled?
what lives have I touched..?

Other times I can barely hold it up
from the dense weight of its contents.
The lessons are what I try to carry with me;
though at times the weight seems daunting,
unbearable.

The pages of our lives don’t always turn so easily,
they sometimes prevent us from moving forward.

Sometimes
The past can be the most stubborn of barriers;
Pages like molten lava that solidify into obsidian
with its sharp edges and conchoidal fractures.

We try to climb over them,
under them,
through them…
tearing our flesh in the process
yet to no avail.

Like a cinder block tied to our feet
as we attempt to swim to shore;
it holds us stagnating;
and we know it is only a matter of time
before it pulls us down,
drowning into darkness.

And so we are left with no alternative —
but to burn those pages,
and blow the ashes into the wind.

In Love With Another

 

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When the one that you love
is in love with another,
its like chasing the rain
while running for cover.

Like bridging the distance
between east and west,
knowing its still farther
from your head to your chest.

You run and you run
yet remain where you started;
but the sages have warned,
love is not for the faint hearted.

Love asks no permission
whether coming or going,
be it to stay or pass through,
like an ephemeral wind blowing.

Like a welcoming farewell,
the mixed message from your lover;
when the one that you love
is in love with another.

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I Did Not Tell You

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There was so much I did not say when you said goodbye
Now I wonder if I did, what would have been your reply

I did not tell you that your leaving
was a catastrophe buried in grieving

like the avalanche leaving the mountain slope
destroying all flicker of hope.

I did not tell you of the heart that you ripped asunder,
leaving it to drown in a sea of its own blood,
or of the soul you left in silent wonder
like the silent destruction after the flood.

I did not tell you that I saw an ocean in your eyes,
and that every time you spoke I felt your spirit rise.

I did not tell you of the graceful gait with which you moved about,
and the confidence and assurance that left me with no doubt.

I did not tell you and I never will, some words are to remain unspoken,
but every word I said to you was a promise that remains unbroken.

I did not tell you that I did not know who I was without you,
that every word you spoke was truth and I could never doubt you.

I did not tell you that even now the wind still carries your name,
and every flood of tears I swam through could never kill the flame.

I did not tell you how your arms engulfed me, how much your love surrounds me.
How your mere touch could heal my soul, will forever astound me.

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Surrender

Collapse into the arms of destinyleaf5
Let them carry you wherever the wind blows

Do not resist, be pliant
Like the reed that sways

Trust that you will be guided
To that which is in season to your soul

Love speaks with one voice
Sometimes through the parting of different lips

Know that the displacement and nostalgia you feel
is but a memory and a foretelling
of Home

Relief comes with surrender
The leaf knows this secret
it yields in acquiescence.
Take a moment and contemplate
the life of a leaf ~

Surrender is not defeat,
it traverses land far and wide
and arrives gently to its destination

Surrender is not weakness,
know your strength.
Your essence can move mountains

Transcend into a fragrance that casts its spell into the night
unbeknownst to the beholder from whence it comes

leaf4In your surrender is beauty
that draws you closer to the ultimate Beauty
and culminates in the ultimate Love

Love him, love her, and let your love permeate
like the scent of two roses, together in bloom

 

Tamarind, Laughter & A Rhino (a dream)

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I was in a field among the tamarind trees
piles of tamarind pods everywhere
and hanging from the branches
the wind would blow and rustle through the tamarind pods
and produced the strangest of sounds..
It then occurred to me that it was the sound of laughter,
beautiful laughter surrounded me
As the wind blew harder, 
the sounds of laughter grew louder;
all different forms, from giggles to chuckles 
subtle laughter and contagious laughter..
I could not help smiling and laughing along
Suddenly, there appeared a rhinoceros..
she came up and gently leaned against the tamarind tree..
and just as suddenly, 
the sound of laughter immediately stopped.
She then turned and walked away. 
it seemed as if this was usual for her,
to stop the cacophony..
And there was stillness among the tamarind trees
and me.
A gentle stillness that could not have been forced..