It is not the pain, but the hope, that hurts..

It is not the pain, but the hope, that hurts,
I insisted, thinking I was wise;
as he plucked two twinkling stars from the sky
and placed them in my eyes

My head upon his shoulder lain
he carried me to my resting hour;
climbing the tresses of Ferdowsi’s Rudāba*
he freed me from an imprisoning tower

‘We’ve seen each other’s scars‘, he said
our imperfections seem so perfect’
As I gaze into his fathomless eyes
my heart, in soothing undulation, swept

Carried away on an emerald ocean
within the cadence of my wanting,
the deeper you dive, the less violent the waves‘,
I immerse, the current no longer daunting

First buds break through winter’s frost
ushering the blessed re-birth of spring,
his kiss, a flame, melts the ice in my soul
re-awakening my heart to blossoming.

 

*  Persian lore similar to the story of Rapunzel

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Silence Has A Sound

eyes

These eyes,
they hide
a wall of tears
though it does nothing to quell the flame,
they hide behind
a wall of fears
that echoes the sound of your name.

This heart,
its roads,
its inlets and tributaries
that venture to you
and from you
are stained red from the wine you spilled
though it had no color.

These hands, these arms
as they hold and surround you
though they mean to provide you peaceful solace
they only seem to confound you.

This silence –
this silence though it may be golden
it is not always consent;
mere empty promises that keep me beholden
to words, like a coil that is wound
and wound,
betraying a silence that does indeed
have a sound.

And Love Remains

 

bud

She dusted you off her shoulder
something she noticed out of the corner of her eye,
a nuisance flake that looked like a blurried boulder,
brushed off without so much as a goodbye.

but love remains..

He sends you a text message
or calls you on the phone;
his promises were a hollow pledge,
he hangs up, and you’re alone.

but Love remains..

You feel your spirit start to wither
and you realize you must forgive her.
You feel your soul dying from within
and you realize you must forgive him.

And Love remains
even when he leaves,
that’s how you can love again.
Love remains
even after she leaves,
that’s why you can love again

He gave you his heart
tied with a pretty bow,
you opened it and found a box of pain.
She gave you her heart
delicately placed in folds of silk and satin,
you opened it and found a box of rain.

Yet Love remains
even when he leaves
that’s how you can love again.
Love remains
even after she leaves
that’s why you can love again

Deep within all the pain,
time passes..
and Love remains.

 

Waiting For Darkness

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Each night
I lay my head upon this pillow,
I am consumed by thoughts of you;
when you used to lie next to me,
your arm around my waist,
drawing me near..
Our hearts would find their rhythm
and beat as one.

Long moments later,
my eyes finally find their way
to that place of dark slumber;
where there is no pain,
no sorrow,
no missing you.

These days,
that side of the bed
is full of books,
and mementos,
and memories of you.
The chill in the air lingers,
and it takes longer to get warm..

Each night,
I patiently wait for darkness
to envelop me,
to warm me,
to soothe me..
like your arms once did.

I dream
the same dream every night..
I am in the ocean of your eyes,
standing upon its jagged rocks,
fighting the wind;
and I hold up a lantern,
in hopes that it may guide your way..
.. back.

I said to my soul,
be still and wait without hope, for hope would be hope for the wrong thing;

wait without love, for love would be love of the wrong thing;
there is yet faith, but the faith and the love are all in the waiting.
Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:
So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.”
~ T.S. Eliot

Over You

 

pain

I can no longer bear
to look into your lying eyes;
there is such  deep sadness
when love dies

I can no longer bear
to be held in your cheating arms;
the beautiful hands that once held mine
have lost all their charm

I can no longer bear
to hold a place in your misleading heart;
my heart once held you in such high graces
but you pierced it with a fickle dart

I gave you all I had
and I suffered all the pain;
You took it all for granted
It was all for your gain

All this time you deceived me,
letting you was my mistake.
And somehow I forgive you,
for my own sake

Now when I say my final goodbye
suddenly you want to apologize;
you want to be my ‘everything’
but I no longer choose to agonize..

..over you.

When You Fall

comfort

When you fall
I want to be
the spot where you land ~

When you call
I want to be
the one who holds your hand ~

I want to endure love’s pain
and hardship
with you
to better appreciate it’s joys
and epiphanies
and ecstasies ~

I want to understand
the purpose,
the lesson,
that love is a cleansing purification
I want to endure the process
with grace,
and gratitude,
with you,
and raise our station.