unfinished letter.

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this is the path of the unfinished letter
when it began we thought it would go on forever
i always thought that we would some day get back together
spend our lives in search of the after ever

and even when I walked away
you were always in my sight
i never thought it would end like it did that night
i never thought that would be our very last fight
when you held me and cried, saying that I
should do what was best for me
even then I knew what was best was not for me to be free
but I had to leave you, I had to let you go
i had to let you figure out what it was you needed to know

you will always be one I will cherish forever
and no matter where our paths may take us
this will always be the path
of the unfinished letter
on a map, worn and tattered,
where X marks a spot we never could find ◊

 

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That Night

 

“… hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day of life,
in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful
which God has implanted in the human soul.”
~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The night breeze reached through
the open window like furtive fingers,
intermingling with the soft music that caressed the night air:
♪ ‘mountains of sorrow and rivers of song‘ ♫

the flickering flames of candles danced,
casting mosaic shadows against the divine visage
that smiled down upon us

the bubbling of the water pipe was reminiscent
of a flowing brook, lovingly murmuring into the night
as it reflected the luminous light of the moon

There were joyful sounds of laughter in the distance
occasionally sweeping through,
intermingling with the cadence of our hearts

Your eyes, so soft, so gentle ~
when they fell upon me, they caressed my soul..

I listened to your voice
as you read to me your poetry,
and sang to me your songs,
each word delicately wrapped and held by the music ~
then gently falling upon my ears
and deep into me..

.. deep into the subtle serenity of that  night
when sleeping spirits awakened
and dormant souls revived

You closed your eyes and your heart spoke
drawing inspiration from times long past
from a place deep within the ages
channeling the wisdom of sages..

Mesmerized
I find myself falling into your spell.

In The Quiet

I felt it in my soul when
you screamed with all your  might
a scream that pierced the night
a lightning bolt that ripped the sky in two
In your searching  I felt you

On that mountaintop  or diving in the deep
there is no escape
it finds you in your sleep
That subtle awareness you feel in your bones
As you try to find truth in your songs and your poems
It stays with you until you finally listen
A gentle reminder of all you’ve been missing

It all seems so distant now
as you drift into your sorrow
But you will find me
in the quiet
among the burrows of your tomorrow

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The Missing Of You

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I miss you
when the night covers us in darkness
and I can no longer gaze into your eyes;
but I miss you
when the sun rises
and I can no longer hold you in my dreams.

I miss you
when it rains
and your face becomes a hazy mist against my window;
but I miss you
when the rain stops
and I can no longer feel you in the raindrops.

I miss you
when you are not speaking to me
and I have to rely on the memory of your voice;
but I miss you
when you speak to me
and I lose the anticipation of your gentle intonations.

I miss you
when you are away from me
and I long for your warm embrace;
but I miss you
when you are near
and I miss the missing of you.

Waiting For Darkness

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Each night
I lay my head upon this pillow,
I am consumed by thoughts of you;
when you used to lie next to me,
your arm around my waist,
drawing me near..
Our hearts would find their rhythm
and beat as one.

Long moments later,
my eyes finally find their way
to that place of dark slumber;
where there is no pain,
no sorrow,
no missing you.

These days,
that side of the bed
is full of books,
and mementos,
and memories of you.
The chill in the air lingers,
and it takes longer to get warm..

Each night,
I patiently wait for darkness
to envelop me,
to warm me,
to soothe me..
like your arms once did.

I dream
the same dream every night..
I am in the ocean of your eyes,
standing upon its jagged rocks,
fighting the wind;
and I hold up a lantern,
in hopes that it may guide your way..
.. back.

I said to my soul,
be still and wait without hope, for hope would be hope for the wrong thing;

wait without love, for love would be love of the wrong thing;
there is yet faith, but the faith and the love are all in the waiting.
Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:
So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.”
~ T.S. Eliot

Will You Stay?

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He held me in his arms..

.. and asked me if I would stay
while he worked on his troubled soul,
while he searched for the answers,
and his afflicted heart console.

His hand to the heavens,
he whirled in divine acceptance;
And while his form toiled for the worldly
he sought for grace and repentance.

He spends his nights in seeking
the clarity to his confusion.
And while I long to spend my days with him.
he longs for his seclusion.

Meanwhile, my heart is constantly aching
a physical pain that grips like vises;
but the idea of not being with him
it leaves my heart in slices.

He held me in a warm embrace..
.. and asked me, Will you stay?
From the tear running down his face
I knew I had to find a way.

His touch was firm and pleading
it lingered in an aching yearning,
I smiled tho my heart was bleeding
and nodded, as my eyes were burning.

His eyes were soft, gentle and kind,
I saw my reflection within an abysmal sea.
And I silently prayed
that among all he will find,
that he will still
See me.

In stillness I sought to find bliss
as I flow slowly through this longing,
Being present in all of  ‘this’
Finding solace and belonging.

stay

“If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life.”
~ Oscar Wilde