In The Quiet

I felt it in my soul when
you screamed with all your  might
a scream that pierced the night
a lightning bolt that ripped the sky in two
In your searching  I felt you

On that mountaintop  or diving in the deep
there is no escape
it finds you in your sleep
That subtle awareness you feel in your bones
As you try to find truth in your songs and your poems
It stays with you until you finally listen
A gentle reminder of all you’ve been missing

It all seems so distant now
as you drift into your sorrow
But you will find me
in the quiet
among the burrows of your tomorrow

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The Missing Of You

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I miss you
when the night covers us in darkness
and I can no longer gaze into your eyes;
but I miss you
when the sun rises
and I can no longer hold you in my dreams.

I miss you
when it rains
and your face becomes a hazy mist against my window;
but I miss you
when the rain stops
and I can no longer feel you in the raindrops.

I miss you
when you are not speaking to me
and I have to rely on the memory of your voice;
but I miss you
when you speak to me
and I lose the anticipation of your gentle intonations.

I miss you
when you are away from me
and I long for your warm embrace;
but I miss you
when you are near
and I miss the missing of you.

Waiting For Darkness

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Each night
I lay my head upon this pillow,
I am consumed by thoughts of you;
when you used to lie next to me,
your arm around my waist,
drawing me near..
Our hearts would find their rhythm
and beat as one.

Long moments later,
my eyes finally find their way
to that place of dark slumber;
where there is no pain,
no sorrow,
no missing you.

These days,
that side of the bed
is full of books,
and mementos,
and memories of you.
The chill in the air lingers,
and it takes longer to get warm..

Each night,
I patiently wait for darkness
to envelop me,
to warm me,
to soothe me..
like your arms once did.

I dream
the same dream every night..
I am in the ocean of your eyes,
standing upon its jagged rocks,
fighting the wind;
and I hold up a lantern,
in hopes that it may guide your way..
.. back.

I said to my soul,
be still and wait without hope, for hope would be hope for the wrong thing;

wait without love, for love would be love of the wrong thing;
there is yet faith, but the faith and the love are all in the waiting.
Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:
So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.”
~ T.S. Eliot

Will You Stay?

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He held me in his arms..

.. and asked me if I would stay
while he worked on his troubled soul,
while he searched for the answers,
and his afflicted heart console.

His hand to the heavens,
he whirled in divine acceptance;
And while his form toiled for the worldly
he sought for grace and repentance.

He spends his nights in seeking
the clarity to his confusion.
And while I long to spend my days with him.
he longs for his seclusion.

Meanwhile, my heart is constantly aching
a physical pain that grips like vises;
but the idea of not being with him
it leaves my heart in slices.

He held me in a warm embrace..
.. and asked me, Will you stay?
From the tear running down his face
I knew I had to find a way.

His touch was firm and pleading
it lingered in an aching yearning,
I smiled tho my heart was bleeding
and nodded, as my eyes were burning.

His eyes were soft, gentle and kind,
I saw my reflection within an abysmal sea.
And I silently prayed
that among all he will find,
that he will still
See me.

In stillness I sought to find bliss
as I flow slowly through this longing,
Being present in all of  ‘this’
Finding solace and belonging.

stay

“If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life.”
~ Oscar Wilde