Waiting For Darkness

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Each night
I lay my head upon this pillow,
I am consumed by thoughts of you;
when you used to lie next to me,
your arm around my waist,
drawing me near..
Our hearts would find their rhythm
and beat as one.

Long moments later,
my eyes finally find their way
to that place of dark slumber;
where there is no pain,
no sorrow,
no missing you.

These days,
that side of the bed
is full of books,
and mementos,
and memories of you.
The chill in the air lingers,
and it takes longer to get warm..

Each night,
I patiently wait for darkness
to envelop me,
to warm me,
to soothe me..
like your arms once did.

I dream
the same dream every night..
I am in the ocean of your eyes,
standing upon its jagged rocks,
fighting the wind;
and I hold up a lantern,
in hopes that it may guide your way..
.. back.

I said to my soul,
be still and wait without hope, for hope would be hope for the wrong thing;

wait without love, for love would be love of the wrong thing;
there is yet faith, but the faith and the love are all in the waiting.
Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:
So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.”
~ T.S. Eliot
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Over You

 

pain

I can no longer bear
to look into your lying eyes;
there is such  deep sadness
when love dies

I can no longer bear
to be held in your cheating arms;
the beautiful hands that once held mine
have lost all their charm

I can no longer bear
to hold a place in your misleading heart;
my heart once held you in such high graces
but you pierced it with a fickle dart

I gave you all I had
and I suffered all the pain;
You took it all for granted
It was all for your gain

All this time you deceived me,
letting you was my mistake.
And somehow I forgive you,
for my own sake

Now when I say my final goodbye
suddenly you want to apologize;
you want to be my ‘everything’
but I no longer choose to agonize..

..over you.

Reaching Flames

 


We humans were made to be commanded by our hearts;
this shell we haul around was a consequence,
a cloak to hide among others.

True love is to remain hidden
in the mysterious combustible chambers of the heart,
it’s fire casting light through the eyes.

This is how we recognize love –
by the depth of the hidden fire,
and the length of the reaching flames.

http://phosphorimental.com/

fire

 

Will You Stay?

seeking life2

He held me in his arms..

.. and asked me if I would stay
while he worked on his troubled soul,
while he searched for the answers,
and his afflicted heart console.

His hand to the heavens,
he whirled in divine acceptance;
And while his form toiled for the worldly
he sought for grace and repentance.

He spends his nights in seeking
the clarity to his confusion.
And while I long to spend my days with him.
he longs for his seclusion.

Meanwhile, my heart is constantly aching
a physical pain that grips like vises;
but the idea of not being with him
it leaves my heart in slices.

He held me in a warm embrace..
.. and asked me, Will you stay?
From the tear running down his face
I knew I had to find a way.

His touch was firm and pleading
it lingered in an aching yearning,
I smiled tho my heart was bleeding
and nodded, as my eyes were burning.

His eyes were soft, gentle and kind,
I saw my reflection within an abysmal sea.
And I silently prayed
that among all he will find,
that he will still
See me.

In stillness I sought to find bliss
as I flow slowly through this longing,
Being present in all of  ‘this’
Finding solace and belonging.

stay

“If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life.”
~ Oscar Wilde

Take Comfort In The Solace Of Knowing..

DEEP_SPACE

In deep emotion
tears begin to well from the very bottom of the heart
filling it up,  rising..
until they are on the very precipice of the eyes;
even the slightest breeze,
the thoughtless word,  the unwanted thought,
could spill them over,
a tidal wave of epic proportions
leaving one submerged in a flood
overwhelmed by the deluge..
Seeking refuge.

I find myself constantly at that cusp..
How can you refuse the plea of a heart that loves only you?

This life
is all about heartache
and heartbreak
and healing..

The wells of the heart get deeper each time we love
for heartache carves deep into the chambers,
and fortifies their walls with diamonds and gold,
elaborately embellished and embroidered in verse
reflecting divine light in an infinite mirror.

We become light…
until ultimately
we are with our true beloved
when the Heart is purified
ready to receive

Take comfort in the solace of knowing
that if you are in heartbreak or heartache,
you are not yet with your true beloved..
and your beloved awaits..

§

“Sorrow prepares you for joy.
It violently sweeps everything out of your house,
so that new joy can find space to enter.
It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart,
so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place.
It pulls up the rotten roots,
so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow.
Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart,
far better things will take their place.”
~Rumi

Kintsukuroi

 

gold

From the cracks of a broken heart,
incredible luminescence can emerge
and light your way ~

Yet you keep your eyes closed
and focus on the darkness behind you

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ~  Rumi

Open your eyes
Let the light enter through the wound

And from within you,
let it brilliantly shine through
Let it blind you with its intensity
Let it burn and seal the wounds
with its golden effulgence

And a new you shall emerge
more beautiful
more resilient
more divine

Become kintsukuroi
~

bowl

when you break the heart of one who loves you…

http://serenadeofaneclecticloversmirage.tumblr.com/post/75747558636

when you break the heart of one who loves you
you destroy the home in which you were living

amidst the rubble and the dirt,
the eyes water and sting

from the dust

Rebuilding takes time, and a resilient will, 
because the foundation has to be made stronger,
more authentic..
marble and ceramic and crystal chandeliers
to catch the light

and you are no longer a welcomed guest

 ♦

“When open people open, they *open*.
But the flip side is that when they close, they really close.”
~Yasmin Mogahed