slither.

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You’re calling me baby while she’s in your bed
Telling me you wish it was me instead

Whispering through the phone sweet words in my ear
Knowing full well those are words for her to hear

Shame on you and your insipid deceit
Is there one honest bone between your head and your feet?

Shining a light on the lies that you conceal
are the crimes your heart and lips reveal

I don’t want your kisses or borrowed affection
that slither through your teeth without thought or reflection

How can I trust what is born of deception
built on prevarications from the moment of inception

I don’t want your excuses or justifications implied
whining about what you’re lacking and she doesn’t provide

a Man would know how  to get what is his desire
or have the courage to walk away, and not be a liar

but you choose to stay and deliberately mislead
A real Man owns up to and corrects his misdeed

You were supposed to be her protector, honorably
How is someone like you going to protect and honor me?

Just because you identify as ‘male’ doesnt mean you’ve got the cojones
And I dont see much better from most of your cronies

You walk around demanding respect based on prestige you’ve concocted
Floating on ego, playing a part you’ve adopted

Preaching to all who will listen of all you have learned
Well I’m here to teach you that respect.. is not given but earned

You want to sit there and talk to me about what you deserve..
wow.. you’ve got some nerve.

guy-checking-cell-in-bed

 

every day I forgive him

he asked me if I forgave him..
to which I smiled and replied,

yes.
 every day i forgive you

what i did not tell him was
that each morning

and every night
i have to remind myself
to forgive him

i did not tell him
that I didn’t know
our last kiss would be the last

that he hadn’t given me a chance to cherish it
that I didn’t even remember
when it was
or how his lips felt against mine

that i wish I could remember that last kiss
as clearly as I remember the first
beneath that moonlit sky

but I hadn’t known it was the end of us
and it all seems so unfinished

i did not tell him
of how much i miss the gaze
that used to warm my skin like sunshine
but is now hidden behind clouds

or of how I ache for the arms that used to hold me
envelop me
for now,
now my bones feel so cold

I did not tell him
that
it will always hurt to think of him
it will always hurt
to see him smile
at her..
any her..
every her..

and to know that he had seen my heart breaking
right in front of his eyes
that he had known of my prayers to keep him..

and simply watched

and waited

every day
i forgive him

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Penance.

I must apologize to you
for thinking of you as the man of my dreams
when you did not choose to be-
for making you the love of my life,
for wanting to be your wife.
I am so very sorry
for all of my attempts
and all my wasted efforts
in building you into something you were not;
You hit the ground with such a thump
from atop that pedestal you fell from.
I hope you can forgive me
for seeing the light in your eyes
that took away all my darkness,unnamed-1
for making you my one,
but now its all undone.
I stand before you bare
as I humbly seek your pardon,
for as I burdened you with my love
I neglected to tend my own garden.
How could I be so wrong,
How could I be so stupid,
always being there for you,
forcing you to take me for granted,
and not being what you wanted.
This is my mea culpa
I seek penance for my crime,
And pray you can absolve me
as I gift you back your time.

Healed.

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He said,

When you spend your days in solitude and mourning,
when those days roll into nights without even a warning,
and the only comfort is the tears you shed,
and your only companion is the warmth of your bed.

˜

When you finally manage to venture out
and you see the whole world is moving about.
When the only thing that keeps you upright is the anger,
when your tears spring forth from the gentle smile of a stranger,
when that stranger’s gaze shows a familiar recognition
that seems to tear down your self-imposed inhibition.

˜
When the sorrow in her eyes mirrors your own,
and your heart no longer feels alone,
and you know without a doubt you’ve finally grown.

Gone are the days of feeling dejected,
of trying so hard and still being rejected.
When the stars align on the right side of destiny
When you think ‘all I want is to give her the best of me’
As you revel in the smiles
at the corners of her eyes.


When every moment with her helps to heal the pain
and the burden falls from your shoulders like summer rain

when the promise from her lips the truth discloses
like the promise of the bud that bursts into roses.


When all your worries fade into her warm embrace
and you memorize every line, every nuance of her face
when you think of old pains and there is not a single trace..

When the core of your essence has been revealed..
Then and only then will you know you are healed.

 

 

Linger.

He said,

physical pain leaves no memory

It is the emotional pain that lingers

As if those thoughts have the same touch,

the same impact of her fingers.

It is only the beautiful memories that hurt

reminiscent of promises broken,

and the sweetness of heartfelt whispers

that will never again be spoken.

It only stops hurting when you forget

when those thoughts no longer re-surface

and tearful goodbyes filled with regret

prove she didn’t hurt you on purpose

And on the day you witness

what used to be your happiness

on another face,

you quickly come to realize

that your memories now belong

to the one who’s taken your place.

hands2

For A Cheater..

She is dead

the woman that used to love you.

She is gone

the one who adored you.

She is departed

the one who held your head in her lap,

and ran her fingers through your hair.

You left her broken-hearted

as you chased your desires into thin air.

You have killed her

the one who’s sweetness you’ve tasted,

you left her with the hard-learned lesson

that some love truly is wasted.

But please do not grieve her
though she gave you her heart and soul,
You willingly chose to deceive her
as her love you continually stole.

Do not assume you still know her

if you happen to see her again;

She is not the same woman that loved you

When you left is when her life began

And if you could see deep into her core

you would see that she doesn’t love you  anymore,

that the moment your heart slammed shut that door

her heart sought to seek what life has in store

She is looking for someone to sweep her off her feet

someone’s who’s kind, and gentle and sweet

someone who will hold her and never release her

who knows the little things it takes to please her

someone who’s faithful and honest and true

someone, anyone, as long as he’s not you. 

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heartache is not always about love..