every day I forgive him

he asked me if I forgave him..
to which I smiled and replied,

yes.
 every day i forgive you

what i did not tell him was
that each morning

and every night
i have to remind myself
to forgive him

i did not tell him
that I didn’t know
our last kiss would be the last

that he hadn’t given me a chance to cherish it
that I didn’t even remember
when it was
or how his lips felt against mine

that i wish I could remember that last kiss
as clearly as I remember the first
beneath that moonlit sky

but I hadn’t known it was the end of us
and it all seems so unfinished

i did not tell him
of how much i miss the gaze
that used to warm my skin like sunshine
but is now hidden behind clouds

or of how I ache for the arms that used to hold me
envelop me
for now,
now my bones feel so cold

I did not tell him
that
it will always hurt to think of him
it will always hurt
to see him smile
at her..
any her..
every her..

and to know that he had seen my heart breaking
right in front of his eyes
that he had known of my prayers to keep him..

and simply watched

and waited

every day
i forgive him

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One response to “every day I forgive him

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