the rain pours in a vengeance and a fury
like a lover trying to express emotions that words can not convey
and so he hopes the intensity of his eyes will speak for him.
but a storm is still a storm..
and it carries within it a foreboding of fear
heaven is weeping
It has been a day of deep contemplation,
a day of heart ache and sadness
a perusing through a hazy window into moments shared between two lovers;
one almost feels inappropriate..
and looks away..
but the images are there, already carved and engraved..
standing like memorial statues
i wished i had not seen them
i wished they weren’t there
wishing they would disappear
wishing you would make them disappear
each time I saw a picture I liked
or an image i was drawn to,
there it was..
a clue as to who was behind the camera
the one behind the camera is just as significant as the one in front of it.
and so I looked, and I looked..
I was in the rain
immersed myself in it,
it immersed itself in me..
and I bathed in the pain..
inwardly and outwardly
soaked myself in its cleansing downpour
in an effort to put out the fire
remove the discomfort, the ‘shock’
the blow to the senses
the constriction in the heart
the hollowness in the stomach
to fill the ache..
Trying to accept,
to come to terms with something that I had nothing to do with,
and that had nothing to do with me.
I do not begrudge you your happy moments
your deep connections
your heart to hearts
your joys and your inspirations
and your lessons learned..
So why should it matter? Why does it matter?
and I wait for you to walk outside
and bring an umbrella